


For Life

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Friendship, Glitterverse, Sex, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2004-06-21
Packaged: 2018-05-18 13:48:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5930650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily and Remus get horribly drunk at a party and then have to deal with the consequences of sexually-transmitted lycanthropy, and the problem of being mated for life to someone with whom you're not in love</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. For Life

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

A lot of things were said about Lily Evans' seventeenth birthday party after it had happened. It had been interesting, some people said. Others said it had been bloody incredible. Others said it had been a complete shambles... but nobody could say it had been boring. Oh no.

They held it the night before her birthday. After an hour of pretty much constant drinking (hey -- it would be legal tomorrow, and she was going to take advantage of her last night as an underage boozer), Lily was **very** merry, as were all her friends. She spent a good five minutes or so snogging Peter's girlfriend Skye, much to the delight of all the boys (especially Peter). After that, people seemed to think it was a free-for-all on the pretty redhead, and she lost count of the number of people who came up to give her birthday kisses.

James didn't, though.

Dammit.

Damn the fact that James was going out with one of Lily's dorm-mates. Damn the fact that Ghislaine Martin was sophisticated and elegant and damn sexy. Bloody French girls. Double-damn the way they were sitting -- **lounging** \-- in a plush red velvet armchair, apparently with their hands down each other's pants, and snogging like the end of the world was approaching.

Lily's high spirits had performed rather a remarkable Wronski Feint at the sight, ending up somewhere in the vicinity of her black platform shoes; added to the weight of the soles, they turned her feet into pleasingly good pendulums as she sat on the edge of the table swinging them, and glaring at the couple. James noticed her and gave her a cheery wave with his free hand, before putting **that** on Ghislaine's body too.

Lily burst into tears. No one seemed to notice, and that (added to the alcohol) made her cry harder.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the common room, Lily's best friend Remus was drinking plenty of Butterbeer and trying his hardest not to think naughty thoughts when he looked at Sirius. It was just that Sirius was wearing that black eyeliner again, damn him. _Damn him!_ Remus thought furiously. He picked at the paper label on his bottle, ignoring its little shrieks of outrage in the same way he was ignoring the way Sirius' arse was moving under the tight denim of his flared jeans, and the same way he was ignoring how tanned and beautiful Sirius' arms were, and the same way he was pointedly **not looking** at the sexy way Sirius kept flipping back his long hair, which was escaping its ponytail and falling over those shining, black- kohled eyes...

"Oh, fuck it," he murmured, throwing the bottle into the bin and looking around the room for something else to do. He suddenly noticed Lily was looking somewhat distressed and went over.

"Hey, Lil," he said. He perched on the edge of the table next to her. "What's wrong?"

Lily swallowed hard and wiped her eyes. "Jim and bloody Ghislaine," she muttered, gesturing to their armchair. They'd turned it around so it faced the corner and gave them a bit of privacy, but the chair was sort of... **moving**.

Remus looked from the chair to Lily's stricken face and suddenly realised that he wasn't the only one with a secret crush on a close friend. Lily was **mad** about James Potter. Absolutely crazy about him.

"Oh, Lily," he said softly. He put his arm over her shoulder and squeezed gently. "Girlie chat in the dorm?" he suggested. Lily sniffled and nodded, and let Remus lead her up the stairs. He paused on the way to grab a 24-bottle crate of Triple-Strength Butterbeer from the makeshift drinks table.

"Not fair," Lily kept muttering. They got to the dormitory, and Remus spell-locked the heavy door before throwing back the drapes around Lily's bed and sitting her down on the dark grey blanket. He kicked his shoes off with a grimace -- he'd never quite gotten used to these platform-soled shoes Sirius and James loved so much -- and motioned for Lily to do likewise, then uncapped a bottle and handed it to her. She drank the lot in one go, and held her hand out for more.

"Bloody hell, slow down!" Remus said, then hastily passed her another when she glared at him. "Now, why don't you try to calm down a bit, and tell me exactly what's going on?" Lily frowned and finished her second drink, and Remus looked at her with a slight smile. "Bet I can match you," he said. Lily laughed hollowly and took another bottle.

"The state I'm in right now, Re, even **Hagrid** couldn't match me drink for drink."

Remus' eyes lit up. "Ooh, that sounds like a challenge!" he said eagerly. He downed two bottles and burped loudly before taking a third. "You're on." They gulped down half their drinks, then settled back against Lily's pillows. "Tell me, then," Remus said gently.

"There's not much to tell. Jim is in love with Ghislaine and I don't think I've ever felt this bad in my whole damn life." She emptied the bottle and took another. Remus copied.

"Hey," he said quietly. "You never told me you liked Jim like that."

"Well, I do," Lily said morosely.

"But... why Jim? He's our best friend."

( _Now, Remus, stop being such a hypocrite..._ )

"And besides, you could get any guy you wanted. Any girl too."

"I don't want any guy or girl, I want **him**."

Neither of them spoke for a few minutes. The silence of the castle was broken only by the occasional sounds of their drinking, and the very faint strains of music drifting up the stairs and through the thick oak door.

"Can I tell you a secret?" Lily suddenly asked Remus in a conspiratorial whisper. The alcohol was starting to take its effect, and Remus seemed rather giggly when he answered.

"Of course. What are girlie chats for?"

Lily paused, wondering whether she should say anything, then blurted it out quickly so she couldn't lose her nerve. "It's the indifference that gets to me more than the fact he's with someone else. Like, Pete's with Skye but he still looks at me like he wants to rip my knickers off with his teeth..."

"Well... he does. And that's partly your fault, anyway, snogging his girlfriend all the time."

"Well, yeah. Um. Yeah. But Jim doesn't give a damn about me. It's **that** that hurts. Still, if it hadn't been that abhorrent, stuck-up bitch Ghislaine, I don't mind I'd mind all that much. For some reason, I, um, kind of like watching other people snog."

Remus almost dropped his bottle in surprise. "I need a drink," he said weakly, finishing it. Lily immediately finished hers too, then muffled a loud belch behind her hand and took a new bottle for herself after handing another to Remus.

"I'm going to burst, I've drunk so much," she complained. Remus waved his hand impatiently and ignored her grumble.

"Hang on, wait a minute..." he said. "Let me get this straight. You get turned on by James sucking away at another girl's face?"

Lily laughed so hard she was finding it difficult to breathe. "No," she gasped. "I mean, yes. No. I don't know. It was **Ghislaine** , for god's sake! Oh, holy hell..." She took another swig. "He was really going for it," she giggled. "Jim, I mean. He looks as though he'd be a really good kisser."

"Can I tell **you** a secret?" Remus asked. His cheeks were rather pink... for a moment, Lily wanted very much to reach out and stroke the flush.

"Of course." The chemical giggles were infectious, passing between the two of them like a Quaffle in a high-speed Cup match and making Lily's sides suddenly ache from laughing.

"It's really quite funny if you think about it," Remus said between chuckles. He pushed his hair off his forehead so he could dramatically cover his face with his hands, which set Lily's giggling fit off again. "Ready?" Lily nodded. "Brace yourself..."

"Just tell me!" Lily said, the words valiantly struggling their way through her laughter.

"Well... he is."

"He what? He... oh! Oh, you **git**!" she squealed, whacking him with a pillow. "You never told me you... **what?!** Give me details, dammit! You **kissed** him? Did you use tongues?"

Remus grabbed the pillow and snorted his laughter into it. Lily couldn't make out his words, but his sandy blond head was nodding. Eventually he managed to choke out, "In the fourth year. He'd never kissed before and asked me to show him how. Of course, he didn't know I'd never kissed before either..."

They roared with laughter, rolling about on the bed with tears of mirth streaming from their eyes. It wasn't funny, it really wasn't... except it **was** , it was deliciously funny. They didn't know why, but for some mad reason it was the funniest thing they'd ever heard.

"Remus, you filthy beast!" Lily gasped.

"I can't help it, love, you know it's in my blood..."

Lily choked on her drink, and Remus was laughing so hard he kept missing her back when he tried to thump it. They had another bottle each and waited for their giggles to die down enough for them to speak.

"Feeling better now?" Remus asked. He flipped his hair out of his eyes, and for a fleeting second Lily wanted to run her hands through it. She bit her lip lightly.

"Sort of."

"Sort of?"

She shrugged and nodded. "Sort of. I'm just frustrated."

They finished their drinks, then dropped the bottles to the pile on the floor and looked at each other again. Remus felt an unexpectedly exhilarating surge of arousal when he looked into Lily's stunning eyes. They were the brightest green, almost an unnatural colour for eyes, like the hue of fresh spring grass. _Oh, bloody hell_ , he thought. _What's happening? That's **Lily**! She's your friend. She's like one of the lads. What are you thinking?_ But it wouldn't go away, and when he looked back at Lily and saw her tongue dance out to wet her nervous lips...

"Remus," Lily said quietly. She sounded rather surprised, as though she was only just realising something huge. All traces of alcohol- induced hysteria had suddenly disappeared, and her voice was low and husky. She trailed her finger up Remus' leg, bringing it to rest on the suddenly growing bulge beneath the zip, and he gasped quietly, reaching out for her and running his hands gently over the front of her white t-shirt, feeling for the first time in his life the soft yield of breasts under his touch. Lily smiled and closed her eyes as Remus' fingers played over her body. "We're drunk, you're single, and I'm most definitely on the rebound, despite never actually being with Jim in the first place," she murmured. "If you want this, I won't stop you."

"Do **you** want it?" Remus asked hoarsely, keeping his hands still with his last shred of sobriety as he waited for an answer.

"Remus, it's beyond want now," she said. "I think I **need** this."

Remus moved his hands to her red tartan skirt, understanding the need of which she spoke. He needed to see more of her, to **feel** more of her warm body against his skin. He pulled the short skirt up around Lily's waist, and she swung her leg over his so she was straddling his thighs and pressing her chest against his. Their faces were close, so close they could feel each other's warmth radiating out and mingling between them, creating an invisible, intangible barrier of heat and breath... but Remus lifted his head and kissed Lily, and the barrier was broken. Her mouth was shockingly warm, and she tasted and smelled like the Butterbeer. She responded to the kiss eagerly, instigating a slow, sensual battle of tongues and lips and little nipping bites.

"Touch me, babe," Lily sang softly, as Remus trailed kisses up and down her neck. "Can't you see that I am not afraid?"

"The Doors, the bloody Doors," Remus groaned theatrically. "Always the bloody Doors. Right, how's this?" He thought for a brief moment, then sang, "You know that it would be untrue, you know that I would be a liar if I was to say to you, girl we couldn't get much higher. Come on, baby, light my fire."

They suddenly seemed to realise what they were doing and their roving hands faltered until Lily quietly sang, "I'm gonna love you 'til the heavens stop the rain."

He smiled and pulled her down for another kiss, passion back with a vengeance and hotter than ever. "I've never done this before," he said breathlessly, as Lily unbuttoned his shirt.

"Neither have I," she said. She ran her hands over his bare chest, then helped him sit up just enough to get the shirt off his arms and onto the mountain of bottles beside the bed. In turn, Remus fought aside the heavy tartan fabric of Lily's skirt and slid his hands up her thighs, keeping a firm, even pressure on her warm flesh. His hands went higher and higher, eventually stopping their steady climb when they reached the hem of her cotton knickers. Lily started to say something, but the word caught in her throat and turned into a gaspy moan when Remus reached a thumb out and began stroking her through the thin material.

"You have to help me," he muttered. "I have no idea what I'm doing. Is this okay?" Lily managed a gurgled 'yes', then fell to the side.

"Oops," she giggled, clutching the blanket to keep from falling right off the bed. Remus grabbed her arms and pulled her to safety, laying her down on her back and attacking her throat with mock-vicious bites. She grabbed his face and kissed his lips hard, then drew her knees up and let them fall open so Remus could lie between them, pressing that warm hardness firmly against her knickers.

There was something almost unbearably kinky about the combination of Lily's white knee-socks and her short skirt...

"This okay?" he asked breathlessly.

"Mm-hm, yes, it's good," she murmured breathlessly, "but you know, I think it works a lot better when there aren't as many clothes."

A feral light sparked in Remus' amber eyes. He leaned back until he was kneeling, and pulled on Lily's shoulders so she sat up astride him. He pulled the hem of her Jack Fairy t-shirt over her head, and the collar trapped her flame-coloured hair for a moment, revealing the expanse of creamy-white skin on her back... **and** front.

"No bra," he said in astonishment. Lily just smiled, and he grinned back. "No bra..." he repeated throatily, sliding his hands up her bare back and pulling the t-shirt right off. "I don't know why I suddenly find that so sexy," he whispered.

"Me neither, but you'd better do something about it..."

Without another word he pushed on her shoulders gently so he could see her. The candlelight sent its flickering orange light into the bed, illuminating Lily's breasts, and Remus' breath caught in his throat. He began to slide a tentative hand down her chest, then stopped and looked away.

"It's okay," Lily said softly. "You can touch me. I want you to."

He looked back and locked his eyes onto hers, then slid his hand down her front until he was cupping her left breast. It fit into his palm perfectly as if it belonged there, and he began kneading it gently, rolling the taut nipple between his fingers. Lily leaned back on her elbows and closed her eyes, wanting to shut out all other sensations so she could concentrate on the mini-explosions that Remus' touch was detonating all over her body. The last rational part of her mind told her she'd probably regret this in the morning, but the voice was finally silenced when Remus placed his lips over her other nipple and began suckling on it.

"Oh... god," she gasped. Tingles ran up and down her spine, reaching tendrils down all her limbs and up into her head and down, down **there** , where she suddenly needed to feel Remus' touch.

He leaned forwards and kissed her, the sudden full-body contact making her cry out. Remus looked alarmed.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No!" she said vehemently.

"Then what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong." She smiled guiltily. "Only that it feels so good when you touch me, and I think I might turn out to be a screamer."

He laughed and slipped his arms around her shoulders, hugging her tight for a second. "I love you."

"Love you too. Make me scream, Remus."

"Gladly. How?"

A surge of arousal hit Lily then as she realised the extent of what was happening. Right now she was half-naked in bed with the most beautiful boy she knew. What's more, the beautiful boy was offering to do anything and everything she wanted... this was going to be fun.

"First of all, be a gentleman and help a lady out of her skirt," she murmured. Remus removed the giant safety pin and unwrapped the tartan, throwing it onto the bottles when he was done. "And her stupid socks, and her knickers." Remus peeled the socks off, turning them inside out, then Lily lifted her hips off the bed so Remus could slide her knickers down and toss them to the floor. "Sit over there," Lily said, directing Remus to the foot of the bed. He leaned against the board and gaped as Lily dropped her legs open again in an indecent, sexy-as-hell sprawl. "Can you see?" she asked.

Remus thought he could detect a hint of a smirk in her voice. "Uh- huh," he said breathlessly.

"Then watch what I do."

She began rubbing her breast slowly with her left hand, whilst the right inched its way down to the auburn curls between her legs. She bit her lip gently as she slipped one finger inside herself, wetting it thoroughly then bringing it out and stroking between the beautiful pink folds of flesh. Remus realised she'd found what she was looking for when she smiled and threw her head back, and her moving finger took on a steady, rhythmic pace.

"Fuck, Lily," he breathed.

"Later," she said softly, opening her eyes. "Do you want to watch me, or do you want to do it yourself?"

He moved back up the bed like lightening. "I want to do it. Show me." He covered her hand with his and let her guide him to her most sensitive spot.

She made a low, guttural sort of moan deep in her throat. "Ahh... yes, there, that's perfect."

Remus planted kisses on Lily's breasts and face as he stroked the little bud of flesh to erection. Every so often he re-wet his finger by dipping it inside her, then, on the spur of the moment, he suddenly put his finger in his mouth and sucked it.

"Oh my god," Lily murmured. Her cheeks were flushed and her hair lying in disarray over the pillows. Remus didn't think he'd seen a more beautiful sight in all his life. "You can do that too, if you want."

"What, this?" he asked teasingly as he licked his finger again.

"No, you... you know, you can... don't make me say it." He just waited, smiling serenely, until Lily took a deep breath and said, "You can kiss me down there if you like."

He responded by planting a trail of kisses and licks down her body until his face came to rest between her thighs. Of course, his heightened senses made the scent of Lily's arousal hit him like a ton of bricks, and he breathed in deeply.

"God, you smell good," he whispered. Lily began almost panting with impatience as Remus spent a leisurely few minutes just kissing around her thighs, sometimes burying his nose in the curls of hair and losing himself in the scent. Eventually he pressed his nose right into the wet flesh and poked out a tentative tongue, laving it through the wetness in broad sweeps. Lily's cry was almost a scream. Almost. Remus smiled and vowed she'd be **really** yelling by the time he was through.

Unable to help herself, Lily began touching her breasts again as Remus' tongue explored every last crevice of her most intimate places. Eventually, he latched onto her engorged clitoris and began sucking rapidly, at the same time offering a couple of fingertips at her entrance. She babbled something like, "yes, please, now, in, please," until he pushed up a little, entrenching a finger firmly inside her. The slight pain of her tearing barrier was overshadowed by an earth-shattering orgasm as spasms, almost unbearable in their intensity, coursed through her body.

She came back to her senses a minute later, and opened her eyes to find Remus looking down at her, an amused smile on his lips. "Welcome back," he said quietly.

"I screamed," she said with a grin.

He nodded. "Loud enough to wake the dead. I'm surprised no one came up."

"What time is it?" Lily struggled up into a sitting position, fighting the wooziness of the alcohol coupled with the after-effects of her orgasm, and peered at the clock. "Huh. Only 11:20!"

"Thought time was supposed to fly when you're having fun?"

Lily laughed. "Well, that's the saying. I'm not complaining, though."

"Me neither," Remus said. He tugged her hair playfully and smiled. "Come here." Lily settled on her side, facing Remus. The sensation of warm bare skin on warm bare skin was just exquisite, and he snuggled up to her as closely as he could, tucking her head under his chin and draping his arm over her waist. "I could stay like this forever," he murmured.

Lily just nodded drowsily, and they lay in silence for a few minutes. Remus had just started to drop off, but he jerked awake with a low moan when he felt hands brushing against his erection.

"Wake up, sleepy," Lily murmured. She tugged his zip down and put two fingers through the hole in the front of his boxers. He gasped as her fingertips danced patterns around the head of his cock, spreading its moisture down the sides.

"Let's get these off," she whispered. Remus obliged, bracing his feet against the mattress and arching his body so Lily could slide both garments off and toss them to the floor.

"How do you want to do this?" he asked, letting his eyes close so he could better savour the delicious touch of Lily's stroking hand.

Instead of answering, she put her hand on his hip and tugged, making him lie on top of her. She hooked one leg behind his thigh and bent the other at the knee, pushing herself towards him in a silent plea. She felt the head of his cock, lightly pulsating, brush at her entrance.

"Now," she said.

"We can't go back after this, you know."

"I know. Please, now."

Their lips met in a sweet kiss, then Remus pushed forwards gently, letting only the head slip inside. Lily let her breath out in a great whoosh. It didn't hurt, despite all the horror stories the older girls had told her.

"Okay?" he asked anxiously.

"Bloody brilliant, thanks for asking. Please, Remus..."

He pulled out, pushed in gently, out again, and finally all the way inside so their hips crushed together. Lily felt full, complete. The sensation of being stretched out around Remus was just heavenly, and she rocked her hips gently, urging him to move. When he did, stroking and rubbing every tiny bump and ridge inside her, she couldn't help crying out.

She tangled her hands in his hair and pulled him down for a long, slow kiss that soon got more intense, mirroring the way that the movements of Remus' thrusting hips sped up. They both began panting, breath ripping in and out of their lungs rapidly as though they'd just run a marathon, and salty sweat invaded their kisses along with the heady taste of Butterbeer.

"No!" Lily said suddenly. Remus' eyes flew open and he stopped moving.

"What? You want me to stop?"

"God, no!" She kissed him quickly and grinned. "But let's take it slow. We have almost twenty minutes 'til midnight, I want to see my birthday in with you."

Remus smiled. "Oh! All right." He pulled out of her all the way, then fed himself back in a tiny bit at a time. "Like this?"

"Ohh... you horrible tease..."

"It's what you wanted!"

"Mmm, and it's perfect."

Even without the mad, unbridled passion of their first few minutes, it didn't take too long for the pleasure to start mounting. They spent the next quarter of an hour at the very brink of orgasm, breathing harshly into one another's hair and barely even moving at all for fear of ending it too early. Eventually they heard the toll of countless bells from the countless clocks all over the school, and, very faintly, cheers from the revellers in the common room.

Lily ran her hands down Remus' sweaty back and grasped his buttocks, pulling him in violently. That was enough for her -- she screamed again as a pulsing orgasm took hold of her; it was a completely **different** feeling when something more substantial than a finger was filling her. It was tighter and more intense... then with a few more rough thrusts, Remus came with a sharp cry, and the extra movement added to the warmth spilling inside her and the feverish kisses he planted all over her face, made her orgasm a third time.

"Oh god," Remus kept gasping. He ran a hand through his sweat- drenched hair, pushing it away from his face. "Lily... oh my..." He swallowed thickly and kissed her, sucking briefly on her lower lip as she put her tongue out to lick the drops of sweat from his flushed skin. "My god, Lily..."

"I know," she murmured, holding him tight to her. She closed her eyes, feeling woozy and exhausted, but wonderful. Every so often another small contraction ran through her body, making them both shudder with pleasure.

"Happy birthday," Remus whispered. "Can I sleep here?" He wasn't sure whether Lily was still awake, but then she nodded and he rolled off her, spooning up beside her with his arm slung across her hip. They fell asleep together, each basking in the afterglow of glorious, mind-blowing sex, and the knowledge that they were sharing a bed with the person they loved most in the world.


	2. Chapter 2

"...holy hell..."

"...see who Lily..."

"...mon bloody Dieu..."

Lily mumbled something vaguely resembling, "Go away," to the voices that had woken her, then she tried to turn over but she couldn't. After a momentary struggle, she opened her eyes to see **someone's arm** across her waist. And she was naked, and it was a **man's arm** , and, oh god, it was Remus, and **he** was naked, and oh **god** , they'd had life-altering sex the night before and all her dorm-mates were crowding around the bed, and **oh bloody god!!!**

"You awake, Lil?"

"Marilyn... please, sod off," Lily groaned. She pulled the blankets up to her chin, trying to block out the little snuffly sleep-noises Remus was making.

"Oh, no. No way. I'm **not** going away. You slept with **Remus**?" Marilyn sounded delighted. "You do know he's the Number Three Most Unattainable Boy in Hogwarts, don't you?"

"I can't deal with you right now, you silly cow," Lily hissed. "I have a fucking terrible headache, so why don't you do something useful and find me some hangover potion?"

Marilyn looked at Ghislaine and Skye in surprise. She decided she'd better do as she was told. Lily was top of the class in Charms. Better safe than sorry.

"Um, yeah. Back in a minute."

She closed the curtains.

"Skye, could you pass me my wand?" Lily called. She heard fumbling, then Skye's hand came through the gap between the velvet drapes.

"Um, Lil? How big's his..."

"Skye!"

"Never mind."

Lily cast a hasty Locking Charm on the curtains, then thought for a moment and followed it with a Silencing Charm. She thought hard for a moment, but there was only one word to describe what had happened.

"Fuck," she swore. Ooh, that was good. She did it again. "Fuck. **Fuck**. Fucking fuck. Fuck, fuck, **fuck**!" She managed to wriggle out from underneath Remus' arm and sit up against the headboard, clutching the blanket tightly to her chest. She looked down at her best friend's peaceful face, swore again, and burst into tears. Drawing her knees up as far as she could, she rested her forehead on them and cried quietly, making up for the lack of sobs with the sheer amount of tears.

Remus began to stir after a few minutes, then he opened his eyes blearily. "Lily?" he said sleepily. "Why are you crying? What are you doing in my bed?" He paused and his eyes widened. "Oh! Oh... oh, fuck. Fucking, **fucking** fuck. Oh, hell." His voice trailed off and Lily couldn't help laughing a little.

"I know, that's exactly what I was thinking," she said. "Fuck."

"Yes, we did, didn't we?" Remus muttered. "Fuck."

Neither of them spoke for a good five minutes or so. Eventually, Remus shuffled down the bed, taking painstaking care to stay under the covers the whole time, until he was leaning against the board at the foot of the bed, facing Lily.

"How weird is it going to be now?" he asked quietly. "I mean, between you and me? It's obvious we both sort of regret it..."

Lily sniffed. "Sort of," she agreed. "Should we talk about it?"

"We should. Have you...?"

"Yup. We're locked and silenced."

"Then let's talk."

Lily took a few deep breaths and seemed to be gathering her thoughts. "Sort of," she finally said. "I sort of regret it. It was..." She waved her hand as if she could pluck the word she was searching for from the air.

"Good?" Remus tried, smiling slightly.

"...absolutely, mind-blowingly incredible was what I was after, but good will do," Lily said. She tried a tentative grin to match Remus'.

"What's the but? I can tell there's a but here."

"But it feels **so** horrible and dirty now. Because you don't feel like a lover, you feel like a..."

"Brother," Remus finished. They both nodded. "I know. That's what I was thinking just before the fucking fuck speech." He hesitated. "Can I... come up there with you? Not to do anything," he added hastily. "I just want to be near you."

Lily nodded and Remus sat beside her, propped up against the headboard with a pile of cushions. They looked at each other for a moment, before Lily leaned her head on his chest and Remus put his arm across her shoulders.

"This is weird," he whispered. "It's nice to just be here with you like this, but it's revolting to think about doing anything more."

"Well, there are no barriers left between us now," Lily said. "No secrets. We've done as much together as two people can possibly do." She'd stopped crying, but her eyes were still rather wet and she rubbed at them before continuing. "I love you so much. Promise me this won't spoil our friendship?"

"Lily..." Remus turned slightly and wrapped both arms around her. Together, they wriggled down the bed so they were lying with their heads on the pillows and all their limbs entwined. Somehow, despite their nakedness and closeness, it didn't feel sexual. "Despite what Snape says, I'm not a complete dickhead." Lily giggled, and kissed Remus' forehead gently. "I'd be crazy to let you go over something like this. I love you too, I always will. What happened... I dunno." He kissed her cheek. "I think it's made me realise just how great we are for each other -- in a decidedly non-sexual way, of course."

"Yeah," she murmured, then added, " **God** , my head hurts."

"Mine too. How much did we drink?"

"Don't know exactly. A damn lot."

"Ugh. We need hangover potion."

Then, they both yelled, "Oh, SHIT!" at the same time.

"Potion!" Lily said frantically.

"Fuck, fucking fuck... get dressed, quick, we need to see Madam Pomfrey."

Lily unlocked the curtains and wrapped a blanket around herself before dashing to her wardrobe and pulling some jeans and a blouse out. She dressed hurriedly and Remus dragged on the trousers and shirt from the night before. He grabbed her hand, and they ran out of the dorm without a word to the other three girls.

It seemed as though the other inhabitants of Gryffindor Tower -- at least the older ones -- had also drunk a lot, because (thankfully) the common room was practically deserted. Lily and Remus hurried out the portrait hole and down to the hospital wing.

"If I'm pregnant, Remus..." Lily said hesitantly. He interrupted.

"Forget that for a minute, that's what the potion's for. What if I've infected you?"

Lily's steps slowed and a stricken look passed over her face momentarily before she forced it away and replaced it with a bright smile. "Well," she said slowly, "it wouldn't be so bad. I could join you lot at the full moon then."

"Lily, don't... you don't want to be a werewolf. **I** don't want you to be a werewolf. If I've infected you, I'll never forgive myself."

They got to the hospital wing. Madam Pomfrey smiled at Remus when he opened the door. She'd become very fond of him over the years, and the feeling was reciprocated. He often came to see her, just to say hello.

"Good morning, Remus!" she said warmly. "Is everything okay?"

"Um, no, not really," he muttered. Madam Pomfrey snapped into matron mode.

"Up on the bed," she said briskly, gesturing to the one beside her. "Miss Evans, go back to your common room. There's no point in standing about whilst I examine him."

Remus tightened his grip on Lily's hand. "It's not me, it's her," he said. Madam Pomfrey looked confused, then she glanced from Remus' face to their clasped hands, to their mussed hair, their worried eyes, and the crumpled clothes she was sure she'd seen Remus wearing the day before...

"Oh, no," she groaned. One hand flew to her eyes and rubbed them hard. "You didn't...?"

"We did," Lily said miserably. "It was my birthday party and we had too much to drink, one thing led to another. We didn't even think about taking precautions."

"On the bed then, Lily," Madam Pomfrey said. "Remus, you go..."

"No!" they said in unison. "Please, can't I stay?" Remus begged. He looked terrified. "If anything's happened to her, it's my fault."

The nurse hesitated. "Very well. I'll just fetch some things. Lily, strip to your underwear."

She hurried away and Lily took off her outer garments, tossing them onto the next bed. She lay against the pillows, her face almost as white as the linen. Remus took the seat beside the head of her bed and clutched her hand tightly, bringing it to his lips and kissing it fiercely.

"You're going to be okay," he said. "Everything'll be fine, you'll see."

"Of course I'll be okay, as long as you stick by me," she said simply. "If I'm pregnant, I'm going to keep it. I don't agree with abortion for contraception purposes, not even magical abortion."

"But... if you **are** pregnant, the baby will be..."

"A werewolf? Not necessarily. It's a dominant gene so it's not definite. Fifty percent chance either way. Besides, if it **is** , we'll cope. Your parents have managed it."

"Yeah, but they weren't seventeen when I was born. And I wasn't born a werewolf anyway."

"Then we have the advantage, because we know a lot about lycanthropy anyway."

Remus began to reply, but stopped when Madam Pomfrey returned from her store cupboard with a vial of clear potion. She poured it into a goblet and held it out to Lily.

"First things first. It's going to taste vile," she warned, "and it'll make you feel queasy, but try not to throw it back up or else you'll just have to take another dose. It's probably best to drink the whole thing in one go."

"What is it?" Lily asked.

"It cancels out conception. You should take it, just in case. If you're pregnant this'll sort it out. If you're not, it won't have any side-effects."

"I don't want to take it."

Madam Pomfrey raised her eyebrows. "What?"

"Well, we don't know if I'm pregnant at all, and if I am, I'm keeping it."

"I see," the nurse said quietly. "And what does Mr Lupin have to say for himself on the matter?"

Remus shifted uncomfortably in his chair. "It's Lily's decision. If she **is** pregnant, she'll be the one carrying it so it's really up to her. I'd rather **not** have a baby, of course..." He glanced at Lily and she smiled, giving his hand a little squeeze, "... especially because of my condition, but whatever happens, I'll stick by her."

Madam Pomfrey smiled again, although sadly. "You're lucky, Miss Evans," she said. "Most teenage boys would run from something like this and not look back."

"Well, Remus isn't like other boys, is he?"

"No. He never has been. Oh, well. That's **that** out of the way. Now, why don't we do what we perhaps should have done first, and see if you **did** actually conceive?"

She drew her wand and began tracing intricate patterns across Lily's bare abdomen. After ten minutes or so of strained near-silence, broken only by muttered incantations, a white light began streaming out, leaving a fine trail where the wand passed. Madam Pomfrey seemed pleased.

"Panic diverted," she said. "You're not pregnant."

Remus breathed out, so relieved that he suddenly felt rather light- headed.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked anxiously. "I mean, can you tell right away?"

"Yes. Muggles can't, but we can."

Lily let herself relax a little. "That was bloody scary," she muttered under her breath. "My dad would have had you hung, drawn and quartered, Remus."

"He still might," Remus said. "Madam Pomfrey, what about...?"

"Lycanthropy?" Remus nodded, and Madam Pomfrey suddenly looked grim. "It's a possibility. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask for assistance from some of the other teachers."

Lily and Remus looked at each other, aghast. "What?" they spluttered.

"Well, I need experts in potions and charms, so that's Professors Marsh and Flitwick in. Then there are our resident werewolf experts, Professors Kettleburn and Diggory, and I ought to inform Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore as well."

Lily closed her eyes. She could feel a mortified blush creeping into her cheeks. "Whatever," she mumbled.

"I'll go right away," the nurse said, standing up. "This is too important to put off."

She hurried away. Lily and Remus just sat there, shell-shocked and terrified, too frightened and humiliated to even look at each other.

The first Professor to arrive was Dumbledore. Lily and Remus flushed bright red under his expressionless eyes. Lily was close to tears.

"I'll have none of that," was the first thing he said, in a soothingly calm tone. "May I sit down?" Lily nodded, and he took a seat on the other side of the bed to Remus so he could see both his pupils.

"Professor," Remus began, but Dumbledore held up a hand to stop him.

"Please, Remus, let me speak."

Remus nodded and fell silent, forcing himself not to look away from his headmaster's blue eyes. Dumbledore seemed to be deep in thought, then he spoke again.

"You know the possible, indeed **probable** outcome of this past event, and I'm sure you know that you will encounter a lot of hardship if things end up that way. Therefore, I do not feel it necessary to dwell on that -- at least, not until the other Professors are here and we can investigate it properly." He leaned forwards ever so slightly. "However, I **do** want to say something to the two of you whilst we are alone."

There was a knock on the door, and Professor McGonagall stuck her head around. "May I come in?" she asked.

"If you would give us a moment longer, Minerva..."

"Of course." She disappeared, closing the door behind her, and Dumbledore resumed his speech.

"I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you both." Lily's head, which she'd been unconsciously bowing in shame, snapped up, and she stared at the headmaster in disbelief. He smiled. "Yes, Lily, I said proud. You've proven yourself to be the very epitome of courage and strength. You've made what plenty of people would call a mistake, although I feel you've done nothing shameful. To deny your true feelings and dishonour your hearts would be much worse."

"But Professor, we're not, you know, in love or anything," Lily muttered. "It **was** a mistake. We love each other dearly but we're not **in love**. We've talked it through, and..."

"Ah!" he said. "There's the proof. You talked it through like adults, coming to a decision and acting upon it. The fact that you wouldn't drink the abortion potion, Lily, shows that you can take whatever obstacles life throws at you with your head held high. I'm sure that if you **had** proven to be with child, that you would not have let petty insults and jibes get in the way of your becoming a fine mother."

"Well, I'd have tried."

"You would have succeeded. And Remus..." He turned to the boy. "You said that you would stick by Lily through everything. Possible pregnancy, possible infection. Everything." Remus nodded silently. "Loyalty. It's not only a Hufflepuff trait. The strongest sort of loyalty is that which is hardest to maintain. It's strength and courage again. The absolute refusal to run from your shortcomings. You're a fine young man, Mr Lupin, an absolute joy to teach. I've so enjoyed being a part of your growing up, and I know that whatever happens in the future, you'll continue to surprise and impress me."

"Thank you, sir," Remus said quietly. "That really means a lot to me."

Dumbledore smiled. "You're very welcome, Remus. Now." He stood up. "We'll let the rest of the rabble in and determine exactly what's going on in that body of yours, Miss Evans. Whatever happens, please remember that there will always be a home for you at Hogwarts. There will be no prejudice under this roof whilst I am headmaster if I can help it, and especially not against such fine students as yourselves."

He walked to the door to let the other Professors in, and Lily and Remus gave each other weak smiles.

"He's wonderful," Lily whispered. "Just... wow. Absolutely wonderful."

"I know." Remus nodded, and looked thoughtfully at the headmaster's back. "If I grow up to be even a fraction as good as he is, I'll die happy."

Lily hesitated, noting the stern look on McGonagall's face as she came through the door. "This is going to be hard," she murmured. Remus kissed her hand again. He couldn't think of anything to say.

~+~

Remus lost count of the number of spells and potions Lily had to endure over the next few hours. Everything was noted down by an enchanted quill, and eventually (after it had filled at least ten feet of parchment with its miniscule script), Madam Pomfrey declared that the physical tests were over.

"It'll take me at least an hour to analyse these samples," Professor Marsh said as he levitated the tray of bottles ahead of him. "I'll be in the potions lab."

"Yes, and we five will retire to Madam Pomfrey's office to look at the notes more thoroughly," Dumbledore said. "Go and join your friends for lunch, and come back here at one thirty."

Remus handed Lily her clothes and she began to dress unselfconsciously. It seemed silly to be shy after having spent the last three hours being poked and prodded about by all these people. "What should we tell them?" she asked.

"We'll leave you to exercise your own discretion," McGonagall said. "It's probably best not to tell them too much until we know for sure what is happening."

Lily and Remus nodded, and left the hospital wing in silence. They walked on without talking until they got to the Entrance Hall, then Lily suddenly grabbed Remus' arm.

"I'm really not all that hungry," she said. "Besides, I don't want to talk to anyone just yet. Can't we just go to the common room?"

"Good call. I don't feel up to company myself," he admitted. They headed up the main stairs to the Fat Lady's portrait and gave her the password. When they stepped into the room, it wasn't empty, as they'd hoped. Instead, the whole of their year and the ones just above and below were, it seemed, crowded around the hole waiting for them.

"Remus John Lupin!" Sirius bellowed above the clamour. He looked torn between amusement and annoyance -- a quirky half-smile was pulling at his lips, but he was frowning. "Move out the way!" he ordered some younger students in front of him, then gave up and threw his hands in the air in exasperation, deciding instead to carry on shouting. "Are these saucy gossip-mongers telling the truth?"

"Fuck," Lily and Remus whispered in unison.

James fought through the crowd and grabbed their hands, pulling them towards the fire and depositing them on a sofa.

"Piss off!" he yelled to the other students. They looked offended. "Go on, shoo! Go and pester someone else, I want to talk to my friends!" Everyone ignored him. "Sod it, then," he muttered. "Remus, Lily. Boy's dorm, now."

They went. James followed with Sirius and Peter, and Sirius spell- locked the door behind them.

"Sit," James said. Lily and Remus perched on the edge of Remus' bed. "Now talk." He folded his arms and tapped his foot on the ground, somehow looking very much like an angry parent. Remus and Lily suddenly felt rather small.

"Talk?" Remus echoed nervously.

"Talk," James, Sirius and Peter confirmed.

"Well, what do you want us to say?"

"Okay," James said as he started pacing up and down. He ticked off points on his fingers with his wand as he listed. "Number one. Why did you both disappear halfway through the party? Number two. Why wasn't Remus' bed slept in? Number three. Were Ghislaine and her two cronies telling the truth when they informed us that they found you two sleeping in Lily's bed together this morning, naked, looking all rosy-cheeked and thoroughly shagged?"

"Um," Lily started, and found she couldn't continue. James just glared, and she started talking hurriedly. "Well, very basically, I saw someone doing something I'd really rather not discuss. I was upset, so Remus came and sat in my dorm with me."

"Uh-huh," Sirius said sceptically. "He **sat** with you, did he?"

"Okay, forget the interrogation," James said. "Let's go straight for the big one. Did you two have sex?"

Their blushes answered for them, but Lily accompanied them with a small nod. The silence became almost oppressive.

"Oh, fucking **excellent** ," Sirius muttered after a moment. "You did use protection, didn't you? I don't mean potions. They don't protect against sexually-transmitted, um, afflictions. Tell me you used Muggle protection too..."

"Well," Remus said slowly, "you see, the thing is... we were **very** drunk..."

"Oh, holy hell," Peter breathed, wide-eyed with shock or disbelief or some such emotion at the news that his friends -- people he loved dearly and had always looked up to -- had been so stupid. "You mean you **didn't**?"

"No, Peter, we didn't," Lily snapped suddenly. "You think we don't **know** that was dumb?"

James exploded. "Too fucking right it was dumb!" he yelled. "Do you realise what's probably happened?"

Lily shot to her feet and stared James right in the eye with a furious glare that matched his. They were the exact same height and stood there nose to nose, practically dripping anger and tension all over each other. "Yes, James Potter, we **do** realise what has probably happened. It's fucked-up and awful, but **we can deal with it** , which is more than I can say for **you** , you infantile git, standing there screaming at us when you know absofuckinglutely **nothing** of what we've been through this morning!"

"You could be pregnant, you stupid cow!" James shouted. "Did you even think about what that's going to do for Remus' conscience? He has enough problems anyway without **you** trailing after him for nappy and bib money!"

If looks could kill, James would have been lying stone cold on the floor before you could say Avada Kedavra. Lily's eyes were like venom. "Bastard," she hissed. "You have **no idea**..."

"No," he interrupted, " **you** have no idea! What if he's turned you into a werewolf? Bet you never thought about **that** when you dropped your knickers, you little whore!"

Lily reached her hand back to deliver a cracking slap to his face, but Remus' fist made contact first. Everyone in the room heard the crunch as James' glasses and nose broke simultaneously, then everything was a blur as Remus leapt on him, rolling him over and over on the floor and doing his best to beat him senseless. Sirius (and Lily too, after a momentary hesitation), rushed over and tried to separate them, but they were like wild animals.

They managed it eventually, dragging the boys to opposite sides of the room and taking their wands away. Deprived of physical and magical blows, they resorted to name calling until Peter shouted, "Shut the hell up, both of you!" He rarely raised his voice, so shock value worked better than his actual words, as did the angry pink tinge in his usually calm face. 'Will you stop behaving like children?" Peter yelled.

"Thanks, Pete," Sirius said. He turned his attention to James. "I would say pinch it, mate, but it doesn't look like there's too much left to pinch. You'd better get off to Pomfrey."

James winced and nodded. He muttered something that sounded extraordinarily like, "Fuck you, werewolf," as he went through the door, slamming it behind him.

"What in god's name is his problem?" Lily shrieked. She took her wand out and began muttering healing charms over Remus' cuts and bruises.

"Lily Evans, I do believe that for all your beauty and supreme intelligence, you're as blind as a bat and twice as stupid," Sirius said tightly. She looked up at him in surprise. "Yes, I **am** insulting you, and I'm planning on doing it a lot more until you finally get one fact into your thick skull. And you," he added to Remus, who was tensing himself ready to fight again, "can stop that right away. I'm trying to talk to your best mate." He emphasised the 'mate'. "I'm going to say this once, Lily." He held up a finger. "Just once, so you'd better be listening."

"For fuck's sake, Sirius, stop talking to me like I'm a bloody child!" she said angrily.

"James. Potter. Is. In. Love. With. You," Sirius said slowly. "You got that, honey?"

"Yeah," Lily said scornfully, "and I'm Queen bloody Victoria. Pull the other one, joker."

Sirius lowered his voice a little, and actually sounded rather sad when he spoke again. "Lily, James is my best friend and I know I've pulled some pretty horrific pranks on him, but I would **never** joke about something like this. He's mad about you. Has been for ages, two years at the very least. And then you come in and tell him you've shagged one of his best friends, who just happens to be a werewolf. Not only has he probably passed it on to you, but are you aware that werewolves mate for life?"

There was a nasty pause. "Well, yes, I've read something about that," Lily said slowly, "but I didn't think about it. Remus is a **person** , not an animal or a monster. I don't feel that I've slept with a 'werewolf', I slept with **Remus**."

"Remus **is** a werewolf, dumbo."

"Yes, but that doesn't change the fact that he's one of the most fantastic **people** I've ever met in my life!" Lily said. Her voice was rather high-pitched with near-panic. She hadn't even thought about the mating-for-life thing.

"Still, the fact remains that you've put yourself in danger by sleeping with him," Sirius said, "and James is just worried."

"I am here, by the way," Remus said. "Don't talk about me like I'm not."

"Worried?" Lily yelled (Remus rolled his eyes in resignation and sat down on his bed to wait the argument out). "He called me a whore, Sirius! That's really going to get him in my good books, isn't it?"

Sirius liked Lily, he really did, but his first priority would always be James, and she was being so damn difficult... and it didn't help that Remus kept giving him murderous looks either. Sirius took a deep breath and forced himself to calm down.

"You know what Jim's like, Lil. Hot-headed. Acts and shouts and stomps about like a moody child well before he thinks. I bet he's hating himself now."

"Not half as much as **I'm** hating him," Lily muttered, although it lacked conviction. She didn't speak for a moment. "He's really in love with me?" she finally asked.

"To the point of obsession."

"What about Ghislaine? And why hasn't he said anything before?"

"Oh, come on, Lily!" Sirius howled in disbelief. "Just **look** at yourself! You're intelligent and funny and bloody gorgeous, so elegant and... oh, I don't know, graceful and well-mannered and all that. And he's the skinny little speccy four-eyes with messy hair who's not bad at Quidditch and Transfiguration. He's scared shitless of you. He **likes** Ghislaine all right, but what he feels for her is nothing compared to what he feels for you. Everyone else will always be second-best."

"Listen," Peter said suddenly, "Lil, are you and Remus, like, together?"

"We'll always be together as friends," Remus said, "but no, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend."

"Then that's **that** sorted out," Peter said. "Sirius, Lily is single. Calm down. James **does** have a slight chance."

Lily couldn't help smiling at the gobsmacked look on Sirius' face. He looked as though he could barely believe that Peter Pettigrew was handling something better than he could.

"Next point," Peter continued, "do you know whether or not you're pregnant?"

"Madam Pomfrey tested me. I'm not."

Peter nodded. "She isn't pregnant, Sirius. Calm down. James **does** have a slight chance."

Remus caught Lily's eye and chewed frantically on his lip to keep from laughing. Go Peter, he mouthed. Lily bowed her head to hide her smile.

"Finally, what's the news on the werewolf issue?"

"There's a chance I've infected her," Remus said, suddenly sombre again. "It's not definite, but possible. Likely, I think. They're just analysing the tests now."

"Hear that, Sirius?" Peter asked. "I quote a lycanthropy expert: 'it's not definite'. Cal--"

"If you tell me to calm down, James **does** have a slight chance, I'm going to wring your bloody neck, you pudgy plank," Sirius growled.

Lily glanced at Peter, and they suddenly burst out laughing, Remus included. Lily fell onto his bed and hid her face in a pillow, and Peter started beating his mattress with his hand as he tried to get himself under control.

"What is so bloody funny?" Sirius asked tightly.

"Pudgy plank!" Peter howled.

"Ga... gallows humour," Remus said, gasping for breath. "If we don't laugh, we'll cry. Everything's fucked up beyond belief. Lily's life may well be ruined." She snorted loudly, and that set Remus off again. "And for some reason it's hysterically funny!" he finished.

"Well, **I** don't see the humorous side to it," Sirius muttered. He slumped to the ground, propping his back against his bed and banging his forehead on his drawn-up knees a few times. "You know you're two of my absolute best friends," he said a while later, after the giggles had started to taper off. "I'm sorry for going off on you like that, but I'm so **scared**."

( _And fucking **jealous** , Lily_)

He looked up at them. His eyes were full of love and worry, and Lily suddenly jumped off the bed and hugged him tightly.

"I know," she said softly. "I'm terrified as well. We know we made a mistake, but there's no point getting all depressed over something we can't change now. It's too late to do anything about it, so we'll just have to deal with the consequences as best we can."

Peter came over quietly and set cross-legged on the floor beside them. "I'm with you," he said simply. "Whatever happens. I know I'm not worth all that much, but if you need something I can give, I promise you I'll give it without another thought."

Lily's throat ached suddenly, and she hugged Peter. "And that's worth **everything** ," she whispered. Remus joined them too. He patted Peter on the shoulder awkwardly before hugging him.

"Everything," he murmured. "Thanks, Pete. So. That just leaves you and Jim, Sirius." He looked at the dark-haired boy, who was looking uncharacteristically subdued. "I'm sorry for messing everyone's lives up," Remus said. "Believe me, I'd change it if I could. If I thought it'd make things better I'd go away and never speak to any of you again, but I made a promise to Lily that I'd stick by her through thick and thin. Don't you remember saying the same to me in our second year?"

Sirius didn't respond for a moment. Eventually, he smiled tentatively. "Yes. I remember it like it was yesterday, and I meant every single damn word of it. It's just that vowing something and acting upon your vow are two completely different things."

"Well, I don't think we can do this without you and James," Lily said. "We're a team, remember?"

"Are you with us, Sirius?" Remus urged anxiously. "Can you stick with me and Lily even when things get rough, the way we would for you?"

Sirius bowed his head for a moment. When he raised it his smile was more genuine. "What sort of Gryffindor would I be if I didn't try?" he asked, then laughed as Remus launched himself at him and hugged him tightly. He seemed somewhat surprised, but hugged back fiercely and waited for Remus to pull back first. He didn't. Neither did Sirius.

Lily and Peter exchanged a knowing glance.

"Ooh, bugger!" Lily said suddenly. "It's almost one thirty, I have to go back to the hospital wing for the test results."

That got their attention. Sirius stood up first, offering Remus a hand and pulling him to his feet. He pulled too hard and the momentum made Remus stumble into Sirius' arms.

Remus looked up into his friend's face, uncertain whether to apologise. Strange thing was, Sirius didn't seem to mind all that much, and he wasn't stepping away even though Remus had caught his balance. In fact, Sirius seemed to be tightening his hold, pulling Remus ever so slightly closer to him.

Lily and Peter looked at each other again with raised eyebrows. Especially when they realised that one of Sirius' hands was rather low down on Remus' back. That is to say, on his **arse**.

"I'm coming too," Remus said to Lily, tearing his eyes and his hand from Sirius'. And his arse. Very reluctantly, it seemed.

"So'm I," Peter said.

"And me," Sirius added, "and James is already down there so we'll all be together. All for one and one for all!" He drew his wand, brandishing it like a sword, and charged out of the dormitory.

"Boys," Lily muttered under her breath.

Remus kept his eyes on the door. "Yes," he whispered. "Boys."


	3. Chapter 3

Peter and Sirius went to sit with James while Lily and Remus met up with the teachers in Madam Pomfrey's office.

As soon as they entered the room, they knew the result. Everyone's face was a mixture of fear and sorrow, plus a hint of annoyance in Marsh's.

"Oh, bugger," Remus said. He fell into a nearby chair and covered his eyes.

Lily couldn't even manage that. She just stood there as if her shoes were superglued to the stone, and stared at Dumbledore impassively. She'd known it was likely, but now she knew for sure that it was a reality... she just couldn't comprehend it. _I'm a werewolf_ , she thought. It was unreal. She tried again. _I'm a werewolf. I'm a metamorphic, lycanthropic being. When the moon is full, I'll turn into a wolf. I'll crave human flesh. I'll growl and howl and tear my own skin. I'm a bloody werewolf!_

"Oh, bugger," she echoed in a small voice.

Dumbledore was the first teacher to speak. "Lily," he said, going over to her and taking her elbow. He led her to the seat beside Remus', and he took the next one for himself. "It seems you don't need me to tell you, but all the lycanthropy tests were positive. You **are** a werewolf." Lily nodded wordlessly. Dumbledore glanced up at the other professors. "Thank you for assisting us," he said, "but I'd like to speak with them alone now." They began to leave, but Professor McGonagall stayed after a glance from Dumbledore.

The door closed with a loud click, and McGonagall turned to Lily and Remus. They squirmed as her lips thinned -- a sure sign they were in for a good roasting. She had a talent for being able to make students feel about an inch tall.

"I'm sure I needn't tell you how disappointed I am with the situation," she said in clipped tones.

"No, Professor," they muttered, keeping their heads bowed.

"Do have the courtesy to look me in the eye!" she snapped. Lily and Remus sat up in shock, flicking each other a quick glance before looking straight at McGonagall. She was very strict, often very stern, and they'd seen her downright furious a few times, but this was the first time they'd heard her sound like **that**.

She looked from one to the other, and when she spoke again her voice was a little softer. "That's better. How do you expect to cope with this new turn of events, Lily, if you can't handle a simple, well- deserved telling-off with grace and courage?"

Lily's lip trembled and she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, taking the few seconds of darkness to compose herself. She looked at McGonagall again. "I'm sorry, Professor." Her voice was calm and strong. _Nice one, Lil_ , she thought. _Learning a bit from Jim about hiding your feelings, are you?_

Well, wherever it was from it seemed to please McGonagall. "Much better. Now, I understand that you are teenagers, packed full of raging hormones. I also understand that combining hormones with alcohol is often not a very good idea... and rest assured there will be no more alcohol in Hogwarts from now on, not even for students who are of age," she added, seemingly as an afterthought. "But that's beside the point. You're a prefect, Lily, and well on your way to becoming our Head Girl next year. This sort of conduct is just unacceptable. I'm not condemning your desire to profess your love for Mr Lupin, er, physically, because it's only natural for you to want to do that, but unprotected intercourse leads to trouble, and you damn well know it!"

She paused for breath, and Remus cut in quickly. "Please, Professor, don't be too hard on her. It's my fault she's... um. Infected."

"Yes, I'm aware of that," McGonagall said brusquely. She leaned back against Madam Pomfrey's desk and folded her arms, regarding Remus coolly. "How many times, Remus?" she asked quietly.

"Um."

"How many times? I've told you over and over again."

He tugged nervously on a strand of hair. "Eh. I know. And I'm sorry, I'm **so** sorry. It's not that I wasn't listening or I don't appreciate everything you've done for me, because I was and I do. It just..." He broke off and shrugged. "It happened so fast."

"Told him what?" Lily asked curiously.

Remus blushed. "To always use condoms when I became sexually active. She told me in the third year, just in case."

"Well, I know what teenage boys are like," McGonagall said wryly.

"Come and sit down, Minerva," Dumbledore said. He pulled a chair forwards for her, and she joined their little circle. "Don't you think that's enough lecturing for now?" he asked gently. "They understand they've made a mistake, but they're **Gryffindors**. They'll get through. I'm not saying it will be easy, but I'm telling you for a fact that it's inevitable."

McGonagall hesitated and gave the students one last angry look before nodding and smiling weakly. "I know," she said. "Of course, I'd rather it hadn't happened at all..."

Her sentence trailed off and no one spoke for a while.

"Excuse me, Professor?" Lily said timidly to Dumbledore. "I should really tell my parents about this, but they're Muggles. They don't know anything about werewolves, and I'm going to tell them what I know but I think they'll want to hear it from, you know, an authority figure. Someone who knows what he's talking about. I don't know **that** much more than they do, and we're going to need to sort out where I'm going to stay during the full moons when I'm at home and everything. Would you please write to them for me?"

Dumbledore smiled. "Of course I will, but there's too much to say in a letter. I'd like to invite them and Remus' parents to talk it through here."

Remus turned pale. He **felt** the blood rushing out of his face. "You mean we're going to have to tell them we...?" He broke off and stared at Lily in horror. "Oh, bugger. I am so dead."

"Well, I don't think there's any more to be said at the moment," Dumbledore said. He stood up and offered his arm to McGonagall. "I'll let you know when the meeting is. Now, I do believe there's a friend of yours having a broken nose mended and waiting impatiently for visitors?"

The teachers left, and Lily and Remus went into the main ward from the office. Their legs were shaking so badly they couldn't walk in straight lines without a great deal of concentration.

"You all right?" Lily murmured. Remus just looked at the floor. "Re?"

"No," he said suddenly. "I'm **not** all right. I'll never be all right, **ever**. I've completely ruin--"

"Don't," she said warningly. She stopped walking and grabbed Remus' shoulders, bringing him to an abrupt halt and turning him towards her. "If you ever apologise or beat yourself up or get all ashamed or tell me you've ruined my life, I'm going to... kiss you. And we both know we'd both hate that, so just shut it, all right?"

He laughed shakily. Lily detected tears in his voice and she hugged him tightly, finally letting her own go.

"Love you," he muttered. "And I really am so--"

She grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him, holding him tight and fighting back against his struggles until she'd touched his tongue with hers. They both grimaced when she pulled back.

"Okay. Never do that again," he said, sounding revolted.

"Hey, don't blame me. I did give you adequate warning."

"I know, I'm s... Oh. Um. Never mind."

She laughed and wiped his wet eyes with the sleeve of her blouse. He kissed her cheeks softly to rid them of the salty droplets she'd spilled. "Let's go and apologise to Jim, shall we?"

All the beds were empty, except for one screened off. They headed for that, and stepped around the screen with tentative smiles on their faces. The last thing they expected was the sight of their three best friends absolutely hysterical with laughter.

James kept trying to speak, unsuccessfully. He finally resorted to flapping his hand at Lily and Remus and beckoning them in.

"Jim?" Lily said uncertainly. "Did we miss the joke of the century?"

Peter snorted loudly and Sirius fell onto the bed. His whole body was heaving with laughter, and he pressed his face into James' chest to try and contain himself.

"Um, guys?" Remus tried. "Jim? Are you okay?"

James shoved Sirius away so he could grin up at Remus. His nose and glasses were fixed, but he had a wonderful purple bruise blossoming around the inner corners of his eyes. "Bloody excellent, mate," he gasped. "Just tell me one thing -- when did you and McGonagall start having private sex education lessons?"

"What?" Lily and Remus said in unison.

James put on a high-pitched voice and did a dire impression of McGonagall. "Miss Evans, it's perfectly natural that you want to shag Mr Lupin's socks off... but Remus, how many times have I told you to use rubbers? You need a good spanking, young man."

Sirius chortled and sat up, then pulled Remus to him and clapped both hands over his backside. Remus yelped in surprise but Sirius released him a moment later and held up a tiny button for inspection. "This, my dear werewolf. Werewolves," he corrected hurriedly, "is something I've been working on in Charms, and I've been looking for someone to test it on. It's inspired by the speakers on the record player in the common room. Electricity doesn't work in the castle, right?" He didn't wait for an answer. "The speakers work through a variation on the Sonorus charm. The player radiates the charm, the speaker intercepts it, and boom, everyone is forced to listen to Lily's bloody Kinks and Doors."

Remus stared at his friend. "You put a **speaker** on my **arse**?" he asked in disbelief.

Sirius grinned wickedly. "No, we put a magical microphone on your arse. This," he said, indicating a metallic, cone-shaped object on the little cabinet beside the bed, "is a speaker. We heard everything that went on in that room, including your sneaky little fart."

The boys burst out laughing again, and even Lily couldn't help smiling. She quickly covered her mouth with her hand.

"Oh, get fucked," Remus muttered. "Planks." He finally gave in and smiled. "Sorry for punching you, Jim," he said quietly. "If it's any consolation, my knuckles **really** hurt." He rubbed said knuckles, then held them out for inspection. They were bruised and bleeding, from where the broken shards of James' lenses had cut him.

James just shrugged. "It's okay. Sorry for yelling. You really scared me, you know that? Wanker." He grinned to show he didn't mean it as **too** much of an insult. "Can I have a cuddle?" he asked in a baby- voice, holding his arms up.

Remus hugged him tight, and James whispered into his ear quietly so the others couldn't hear. "What about the mating-for-life thing? Because... well, I don't know if you know this but I'm mad about Lily. I've been trying to get up the nerve to ask her out for ages. Is this whole thing going to drastically lower my chances of her saying yes? 'Cos if it is, tell me now so I can save myself the stress."

"I don't know about the mating for life," Remus admitted. "But, um... I think it might be worth a go, you asking her out. She's got it really bad for you too. You'd better apologise for the whore comment, though."

"Oh. Oh, god. I'd forgotten that. Oh. Fuck."

"Do it now, in front of us all. She'd respect that."

"Okay. Can we stop hugging now? I feel a bit... meh. You know."

"...I need to talk to you about that later."

"Oh! Um. You don't fancy me do you?"

"No. But still..."

"Okay."

"Thought we were going to stop hugging."

"We are."

"I really am sorry for breaking your nose."

"Nah. I deserved it."

They released each other, and turned back to the others.

"Wow," Sirius murmured. His eyes looked rather glazed over. "Punch me, Pete."

"Eh?!"

"If **everyone** with a broken nose gets to be that close to Remus for so long..."

Remus suddenly felt all warm and fluttery inside. Was Sirius flirting with him? _No way. No bloody wa... oh, god, the look. The Look. Oh, god._ Sirius was giving him The Look, and The bloody Smile.

"Did you mean to say that out loud, Sirius?" Lily asked sweetly.

Sirius jerked and his eyes refocused as he ran his last thoughts through his head. He blushed slowly and began biting his lower lip nervously.

Remus let out his breath in a long, loud sigh, unaware he'd been holding it. _Oh. Let me do that. Please. I don't need your heart or mind or soul or even your whole body. Just let me nibble on your lip like that._

"Um. No, I didn't," Sirius muttered.

Remus suddenly remembered what James was supposed to be doing, and he nudged him hard. James snapped to attention.

"Lily," he said, dragging the second syllable out as if he didn't know what should follow it. He didn't, really.

"Jim?"

"About, um, what I said earlier. About, uh, you. And Remus. And... well, you know. That... um. What I said. About that." Lily raised an eyebrow and waited. "Well, I'm, um, sorry. Really sorry. Madly sorry. **Beyond** sorry. I'm the sorriest excuse for a man that's ever walked the earth."

Lily laughed. "Here is where I'm supposed to say something like, 'Damn right,' and you feel suitably punished and I feel big for making you feel small, right?" James grinned. "Well, I'm not going to! I think you're a pretty fine excuse for a man. Shove off, Sirius." She pushed Sirius out the way so she could sit on the bed and hug James. "But if you ever call me a whore again, I'm going to do something painful involving your scrotum, some rabid, blood- sucking leeches and some Spellotape. Okay?"

"Is that a threat or a promise?" he mock-leered. Lily scrubbed the top of his head hard with her knuckles.

"I haven't quite decided yet, but it's probably not a good idea to push it further and find out, is it?"

James peered over Lily's shoulder at Peter, who was giving him a double thumbs-up, Remus, who was mouthing, 'get it over with, plank!' and Sirius, who was making a very crude gesture, pumping his hand near his mouth and poking his cheek out with his tongue.

"Well, I don't know," James said slowly. "I think I'd rather like to push things further."

Lily stared at him. She thought she probably ought to smile, but she just **couldn't**. "Elaborate, please," she said, going for cool, calm and collected but ending up with shaky and nervous.

James flicked a glance to the other three, then back to Lily. "Um," he started, then looked at the other boys again.

"I think that's our cue to leave, guys," Peter muttered.

James nodded. "Thanks, Pete. Shut those two in the dorm until they snog, won't you, then go and shag Skye. Then we'll all be sorted." He grinned at the mortified looks on Remus and Sirius' faces (although neither boy objected), and waited for them to leave.

"You're very confident," Lily observed when they were alone.

"Eh?"

"Pete's with Skye and Remus and Sirius look like they're getting together -- by the way, I honestly never saw that one coming -- and you said we'll all be happy if they leave us alone. What makes you think I like you like **that**?"

"Uh..." James shifted about uncomfortably and smiled sheepishly. "I don't, really. Um. Manly show of bravado, and all that. We show off around other guys. To tell you the truth, I'm shitting bricks trying to talk to you right now..."

Lily laughed. "Charming image there, Mr Prongs."

"Um, yeah." James lapsed into an uneasy silence, during which he kept opening his mouth as if to speak, only no words came out.

Lily took pity on him. "Spit it out, Jim," she said gently.

"Er. Right." James reached out for Lily's hand hesitantly, then cracked a wide smile when Lily entwined her fingers with his. "Oh. Phew. Thanks. This makes it a bit easier," he admitted. Another long pause, then he said, "Lily?"

"Jim?"

"I... fuck it, why is this so difficult?"

Then the sound of voices outside the screens made them jump apart hastily. Ghislaine and Marilyn came running in, and Ghislaine fell on her boyfriend and covered him with fervent kisses.

"Jamie, cher, your poor face!" she managed to say between kisses.

"Lainey, ow, get off," he muttered, shooting an apologetic glance at Lily.

"I will not get off! I was worried! I was waiting for you in the common room and the boys came in without you. Peter said you were in the 'ospital wing and I asked why, and Sirius smirked and said you were being a very brave boy, so I thought it 'ad to be something awful!" She kissed him again.

"Ow! Stop that, it's tender!" With a lot of effort, he pushed her away so he could look at Lily. "Lil... I promise I'll get back to you on what we were talking about, okay?"

Lily glared at Ghislaine, wanting nothing more than to be able to give that snooty face a bruise matching James'. "Don't suppose I have much of a choice, do I?" she muttered.

Suddenly furious, although she wasn't exactly sure why, Lily stormed out of the hospital wing and headed straight to her dorm for a good, long think and cry.

It wasn't until she saw her crumpled blankets that she remembered it was her birthday.

Lily pulled the curtains shut and blocked out the world


End file.
